Trains, Feminists, and Symphonies

"When I care to be powerful -- to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid."
– Audre Lorde (1934-1992)

I've always enjoyed train travel, but even more so now that flying has become such a drag. So I'd planned to blog about the sights and sounds of yesterday's ride on the Wolverine line from my big sisters in Chicago to my kid sister in small-town Michigan. It was a mellow and relaxing ride brightened by late autumn leaves and the mingled soundtracks of the train and my iPod. But when I had settled in at her place and logged on, my plans were derailed.

Before settling in to blog, I thought I'd catch up on email and some of my favorite web sites. While doing so I ran across yet another woman who felt the need to declare that she is "not a feminist" in order to make sure no one thinks she's one of those threatening man-haters. I'm going to make a big assumption here that if you're reading my blog you can understand why those words were like fingernails on a blackboard to me.

So my reaction – after "Arrrrrrggghhh!!!" – was to go surfing for inspiration and hope and counteractive definitions of feminism that would make it so obvious that every self-respecting woman of any age would immediately want to buy one of those great t-shirts that say "This is what a feminist looks like" and that a goodly number of men would do so as well. My surfing led me to 1001 Feminist Quotes (e.g, "Feminism is for everybody." - Bell Hooks and "In my heart, I think a woman has two choices: either she's a feminist or a masochist." — Gloria Steinem) and I started to feel a lot better.

Then my sister came in and got me giggling by reading aloud a timely passage from Ivy Briefs, True Tales of a Neurotic Law Student by Martha Kimes, on how difficult it is to keep one's attention to one's studies, and I was reminded that I had intended to write but instead had spent all my time web-surfing. I signed off without blogging and watched a video with the family instead.

Fast forward to this evening when my niece played clarinet in a symphony performance. It was a great concert; she had fun and played well, and then we all went out to dinner. As we drove home, I thought again about why I'm a feminist. Not only because I'm a woman but because I have sisters and nieces and because there is a world full of wonderful and inspiring women and girls who should not ever be considered or treated as second-class citizens. I sat down to get back to my blogging but first went back to the source of the "not a feminist" comment that I'd followed off-track last night. A lively discussion had followed that comment and it had resolved fairly well. I breathed a sigh of relief. Leaping Woman would not have to leap into the fray. After all, I'm on vacation.

Thanks to my sister for the boost I got when, while sighing with relief, I looked down and saw my blog bookmarked on her desktop. Sisterhood is powerful!

Tomorrow, I'm back on the train to spend a couple of days with Mom. When I fly, the trip is just a means to an end. When I take the train, the journey is part of the fun. Maybe I'll tell you about it when I get there. Maybe.

Shifting Gears

"You should always know when you are shifting gears in your life. You should leave your eras; they should never leave you."
-- Leontyne Price

Today it's been exactly one month since I packed up my office and voluntarily left my job. It was a good job in many ways: It was challenging and I was always learning. I worked with some fine and delightful people with whom I accomplished a lot, and who will remain friends and valued colleagues. Leaving my job was more about what I want to move towards than it was about what I leave behind. I made a conscious choice to leave that "era" of my career, so no regrets.

The last month has been somewhat chaotic, as most transitions are. It's been a mixture of catching up on sleep and doctor appointments; enjoying more time with KJ; riding, playing and exploring (offline and online); organizing the stuff I brought home from work; and getting started at ABI. My mind is filled with ideas and new information, and overflowing with possibilities.

Today I'm heading East to visit my family over Thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for, foremost of which is KJ's complete support for this leap I've taken. And I'm grateful to be working with the fine folks at the Anita Borg Institute, and to have this opportunity to give back to the technical women's community from which I've drawn support. I could go on and on, but I have a plane to catch today, so I'll stop here.