Waiting for Proof

"I also was deliriously happy when Barack Obama won the election. During his victory speech, I was awestruck at the eloquence and grace of this man who we need so much. He reminds me of Dr. King and a bit of JFK both of whom I greatly miss. I wept knowing this is an event of our times that matches no other."
— Nan Coley

My friend Nan went on to note that in those moments of victory an entire people, after generations of struggle, was lifted up. "I couldn’t be more proud and relieved right along with them." What she wrote next completely choked me up: "We, too, are waiting for our proof of belonging to the whole. One day it will happen and I hope I am here to experience it."

When MBW (My Beautiful Wife) and I first met almost 18 years ago, we never dared to think that we would be able to legally marry in our lifetimes. But when we stood in line all day in the rain on President's Day in 2004, and when we finally reached the San Francisco City Hall rotunda and heard those words, "By the power vested in me," we realized how much we wanted the rights, privileges and responsibilities of marriage. And when we were at last legally married in July of this year, we felt what we had been longing for: we felt equal.

Tomorrow is a national day of protest. Simultaneous rallies will take place all over the country in support of marriage equality and in protest of the same-sex marriage bans passed on November 4. We hope for a day of peaceful protest, solidarity, and engagement. And I personally hope we will focus on moving forward rather than on blame.

Nan has words of wisdom that apply here as well. "It is up to us to embody the measure of grace and pride that will show we will not quit and will not fail in our quest for equality with respect and decorum befitting citizens of America who deserve no less than anyone else."

I will try to keep those words in mind tomorrow as we walk to City Hall to show our resolve. But I know I will keep coming back to this one thought that Nan so perfectly expressed: "We, too, are waiting for our proof of belonging to the whole."