Comfort Karma

"As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, keep it."
— Mahatma Gandhi

We've just finished day one of ABI's TechLeaders: Power and Influence workshop featuring the fabulous Jo Miller, CEO of Women’s Leadership Coaching. I'm so energized by the great group of women, the amazing collective wisdom in the room, and the generosity with which it is shared. One of my conversations at the reception this evening turned to the subject of how to get yourself — or a friend — out of a funk. That reminded me of this list we brainstormed in a Success for Women workshop at a former employer:

How to Break Out of a Downward Spiral

• Brainstorm alternatives
• Find support
• Consider the worst possible outcome: How realistic is it?
  
• Recognize that you are stuck
• Persistence
• Take baby steps, and own each success
• Take away the safety net
• Address fear and get it over with
• Take action
• Just take "10 minutes"
• Know yourself and your priorities

Of course, what works for you or for me is personal and can vary widely. Certainly the third bullet is not for everyone. The idea is that when you stop and think about the worst possible outcome, often you'll realize that it's not so horrific — you could handle it. But if thinking about the worst possible outcome is what makes you go into a downward spiral, try another method.

Just take "10 minutes" requires a bit of explanation. This wise woman's method was to give herself ten minutes to wallow in whatever she was feeling, and then move on. If I recall correctly, she may have even set a timer. I've since heard others recommend this method.

Years before that Success workshop, another group of women had offered their advice on how to get through a difficult transition in my life. One said, "Make a list of things you can do when you're wide awake at 4:00 in the morning." On the next occurrence of such a night, the first thing I did was sit down and draft that list of things I could do in the middle of the night. Then I picked an item off the list and did that until I'd calmed down enough to get some sleep.

Another said, "Make a list of friends you can call at 4:00 in the morning." Some of them offered to be on that list. I never actually called anyone at 4:00 in the morning, but knowing I could helped me through some very rough nights. It was so helpful to me that I've made the same offer in return and to others. Call it comfort karma.

That transition was completed and the paper with the list is long gone. But I have saved the How to Break Out of a Downward Spiral list for years. Partly because it's comforting just knowing that I have such a list. Partly to share with others in need, which I have on more than one occasion.

To use the list, it helps to think of the unwritten first and last items on it:

1. Remember to look at your How to Break Out of a Downward Spiral list.
...
n. What else could go on this list?

There is no cure

"If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a horrible warning."
— Catherine Aird

Recently I confessed that I've been untrue to my blog. I've been off gallivanting with Twitter, Facebook, SecondLife, and more, while my poor blog sits with the wind howling through the gaping holes between posts. Half-written entries sit twiddling their thumbs awaiting cleanup and completion. A draft I call the Quote Silo sits jam-packed with quotations at the ready — selected for topics I thought I might blog — longing for their soul mates. And while I haven't exactly fallen into the depths of blogging decrepitude, periodically it occurs to me that I should blog more often, as a record for myself and interested others of what I've been up to since I made the leap. After all, I haven't actually landed yet.

But there is simply so much to explore! There are identities to try on, ideas to try out, more logins and passwords than I ever wanted, and so much to read. I love the reading and the learning and I find myself following link after link and the time simply passes. KJ and I recently read a short and hilarious little book called An Uncommon Reader. The premise: what would happen if the Queen of England suddenly became a voracious reader? I'm doing my own version (except I'm not a queen etc. etc.).

Now the purists among my friends will argue that web surfing is not the same as Reading Books, and I won't argue with them. But I'll close with another quote.

"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."
— Dorothy Parker

Best Practices for Non-Profits in SecondLife

"... Second Life has the killer app, which is community."
- Connie Yowell, MacArthur Foundation

Friday morning I attended a panel discussion on Best Practices for Non-Profits in SecondLife (SL). Or rather my avatar attended, since the meeting took place "inworld" at the Nonprofit Commons in SecondLife. At least 86 avatars attended the meeting. (click here for pictures). The panelists were from Global Kids, Alliance Library Systems, InWorld Studios, and TechSoup (which runs the Nonprofit Commons in SecondLife). These were some of my takeaways:

• TechSoup's Nonprofit Commons project provides free SecondLife office space to nonprofits. They've outgrown their current SL space and they're creating a second one.
• SecondLife is not suitable as a nonprofit's sole community outreach effort.
• Several panelists emphasized that it is not necessary for a nonprofit to have office space in SecondLife. But if you do you then need to staff it for regular office hours. It's helpful to have scripted objects that report back to staff who has visited the space.
• A large event takes a lot of organizers and volunteers and a lot of planning and preparation.
• You have to both plan ahead and improvise for SL technical challenges. For this event there was an external website where you could listen if your audio stream wasn't working inworld, but the number of listeners maxed out the server and not everyone could get in. So some of the attendees typed highlights of the discussion in the text chat for those who couldn't hear. And of course the audio was recorded so a podcast could be made available (although it doesn't seem to be posted yet).
• You have to plan ahead for those who don't have prior SL experience. One best practice is to hold preliminary events in SL, like dance parties, where people can learn and practice their inworld skills. And don't require particants to register inworld; buying Lindens is too complicated for newbies.
• Avoid too much text on notecards; text is better on the web than in SL.
• Publicity: Big nonprofit events in SL get lots of press. Document compulsively to get attention outworld. All press, positive or negative, can create useful dialog. Machinima videos are great promotional tools. And don't forget to tag with 'npsl'
• The best way for a nonprofit to get started in SecondLife is to start attending the Nonprofit in SecondLife (NPSL) weekly meetings (of which this was one).

I plan to start attending those weekly NPSL meetings there to get a better idea of what other nonprofits are doing and ideas for what's possible. Added benefit: much of the discussion was useful for thinking about online communities in general.

For more information, check out:

• Podcast from this event (probably under Library; it wasn't up yet last time I checked)
• Chat transcript from this event
• NPSL: Nonprofits in Second Life blog and wiki
• Nonprofit Commons blog
• Rik Panganiban's report "Best Practices for Non-Profits in SecondLife" based on nonprofit track from last year's SL Community Conference
• Article about Macarthur Foundation's investigation into philanthropy in virtual worlds

Girl Geeks Unite!

A few hundred girl geeks and their dates attended the first Bay Area Girl Geek Dinner, organized by Angie Chang (one of the founders of Women 2.0) and sponsored by Google. I had recovered from my cold enough to go by the ABI office for a couple of meetings and to pick up some flyers and GHC posters. Took a quick nap at home and hopped over to Google for the event. I thought it went very well. Because it was raining the reception was held in a big tent with a bar, lots of food, and great swag: Google/GGD mugs:



I got to catch up with some of the gals I'd met at She's Geeky. Mary Trigiani told me about foldier, the cool startup she's working with. We also talked with Susan Mernit about the challenges at Yahoo with a large layoff looming. It brought back many memories of layoffs I've managed through.

The program itself was pretty good. Ellen Spertus kicked us off with her top 10 reasons why it's great to be a girl geek. There was a panel on building reputation and credibility. The moderator was Katherine Barr, with panelists Irene Au (Director of User Experience at Google), Rashmi Sinha (CEO of SlideShare), Leah Culver (cofounder of Pownce), Sumaya Kazi (founder of The CulturalConnect). As far as geekdom goes, Ellen and Leah have the highest geek cred but the panel was interesting and there was a lively enough Q&A session.